12 years back, at precisely 7:18am, my life was
turned upside down forever when Rishaan was born. I still remember, when I
first took him in my arms, I’d started crying. Like someone had blown a massive
hole through me and all kinds of emotions, tears came bursting out. I’d just
sit holding him staring at him for hours. Thinking about the stuff that I’d
like to talk to him about, teach him. Introduce him to new music, good books,
bad jokes, great films, fabulous friendships and more. But as Rishaan turns 12
today, I realize that I’ve probably learnt more from him than I could ever hope
to teach him.
Here they are, in no particular order…
1.
Appreciating the small
things
Chasing the big dream, the big things, the big
pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow, we often forget the joy and value of appreciating the little joys, the
smaller things that make life awesome. So the happiness that I see on his
face when he splashes into a puddle, on getting popcorn at home, with a bike
ride… it’s like you’ve won the lottery! This has helped me to make note of some
of the smaller things, be it a road sign, a child at a traffic signal in a car,
an old couple holding hands, the extra chocolate packed in a snack box and more
that help me be happier. And boy, don’t we all need those today.
2.
Enjoying music
I really like music. I mean, who doesn’t. But
anyone who knows Rishaan knows that Rishaan loves music. I mean, any genre, any
language, any style. He loves sound. Rishaan
finds music in life. In the wind blowing, in the pressure cooker’s whistle,
in the hum of your breath, in the thump of your heart, in the roar of the car,
in the clink of the glass, in everything. He makes up songs, he belts them out.
And while I’ve always enjoyed music, I’ve learnt to enjoy it a lot more thanks
to him. Ensuring I pick up new albums, make time to hear them – be it on the
way in & out of work or at work. Or looking up the lyrics. And then sharing
the song is something I’ve started doing a lot more thanks to Rish.
3.
Relishing food
Rish is a foodie. In spite of the fact that he’s
gluten and lactose intolerant, he really relishes his food. He eats EVERY
veggie, and is happy to try anything new. It’s a joy to see him polish off a
dish he loves. And the smile he’ll flash while eating it. While my taste
palette is not that wide, nor am I that big a foodie, but seeing this I’ve
become a lot more open to trying out new cuisines, and begun genuinely
appreciating a great food item – even if it’s a simple dal rice, or dosa done
well. It’s something we often take for granted.
4.
Patience
Most kids teach us that. But it’s a whole new
ballgame with Rish. There are days when he can really test our patience. And
while my threshold for a lot of things is pretty high, he can really push my
buttons. But you learn to hold it in and
find a smarter, sensible, calmer, better way to deal with things. And this has
translated for me even into my dealing with people everywhere. I’ve learnt to
be a lot more patient [well, more than I was earlier anyway] – be it at a
traffic light, in a narration, a negotiation or creative discussion.
5.
Painting
Rish really enjoys painting these days, often
he wants to express his experience on a holiday through art. And he will land
up showing us something he felt through that – like his being scared on a cable
car in Hong Kong or enjoying fishing in Maldives. And I’ve rediscovered
painting [you may have seen some of the art we’ve been cooking up, from
superheroes to Ganpatis] thanks to him. It’s so so cathartic, so much fun, so
relaxing and so cool.
6.
Sharing
By design I’m selfish. But Rish is just the
opposite. He wants to share things, his books, toys, food, music, what he’s
learnt with all. That includes strangers. And it’s amazing to see that quality.
I’ve realized giving is the only way to
get, because life is a give & get, not a give & take. Like a lot of
the good messaging, meaning in our storytelling and content that has now become
almost a core part of the Y-Films DNA has come subliminally from living with
him.
7.
Humor
Rishaan’s a clown. Not sure if he gets that
from me or vice versa. He finds comedy and humor in the strangest things. Be it
a silly sound or a funny gesture I may make or something as innocuous as a
corny rhyme or play of words. And that can trigger a lot of laughter, LOUD
laughter. I think that quality has made it back to me. Which is why there’s
always some [if not lots of] humor in anything and everything I do. Be it a sales
pitch/ presentation, a short film, a series, a feature, a marketing campaign, or
the sharing of an anecdote. This ability
to laugh and make others laugh is what keeps you sane. So laugh a little more. We
all need to.
8.
Loving animals
Up until Rish, I was ok with dogs, liked them,
but thanks to him I now love them. He was our primary trigger to add Happy
Patil to the family. And that love extends to not just dogs, but also all kinds
of animals now. He taught me to love all beings.
9.
Photography
I always enjoyed it, but thanks to such a
fantastic model that I found with Rish, I started clicking a lot more pictures.
From starting my FB Sunday Sights to other albums, which a lot of people I realized
religiously follow, Rishaan has taught me to find and capture those moments as
pictures. And critically, that a good
picture is never about the quality of the lenses, the price of the equipment
but just about capturing the right moment.
10. Being affectionate
Rishaan loves PDA. If he loves you, he cares
for you, he’s happy to see you then he wants to hug you and cuddle you and caress
your hair and kiss you. I’m a lot more awkward. But now thanks to him, I’ve
learnt that if you’re happy and you know it then you really gotta show it. So I’m
a lot more huggy than I ever was before. Yeh lo geeli pappi!
11. Being more honest
Rishaan can’t lie. He doesn’t know how to lie. Often
enough, in life, we land up having to bend the truth or not share it for a
variety of reasons or excuses like someone
won’t understand, may feel bad or whatever. But thanks to him, you realize
that they’re just that… excuses. And while life
is not always simple or as black & white as we may want it to be, but often
enough it’s also not that complicated or grey as we make it out to be. So
he helps me be more honest, to begin with, myself and then others around.
12. Being a better person
Overall, Rishaan has helped me become a better
person. Kinder, gentler, less selfish, more patient, more honest, more mindful,
more caring, more expressive, more appreciative of the smaller things. And he makes
me want me to be an even better person every day. While I may be nowhere close
to the ideal or perfect, but I now strive to be a better man tomorrow than I
have been today.
Rish has been through so much from such a young
age. He lost a twin while still in the womb, so went through immense trauma and
has still come out so strong, so happy, so positive and with an incredible
ability to transfer that energy to all who come in contact with him. I can
confidently say that any and every teacher, counsellor, therapist he’s worked
with has been transformed for the better. Just as I have been.
I still have so much to learn from him and can’t
wait for the next 12 to see what new surprises he’s gonna have in store for me.
Happy
birthday masta… and yeah, teach me Kung Fu!
