OMFG | Hey Bhagwan | My Equation with God

Panki Chutney at Swati Snacks

I come from a fairly secular family. Dad’s a Maharashtrian who was married to a Gujarati. Making me a cocktail, exposed to both sides, traditions, rituals. I married a Gujarati Jain contaminating her and adulterating myself further along the way. It was convenient for her to say but “I’m married to a Vaishnav now, so we don’t do Peryushan” – besides it’s easier to get space at Swati Snacks during that window of Jain festivals. So bring on the Panki Chutney. With extra garlic. 

My equation with God is more of friendship, one you have with an elder brother or so. So when I pray – and I do every day – it’s never a trade/ plead/ barter/ bargain/ negotiation/ begging, ‘Give me this, I will give that up/ or do this for me, I will do that for you’ kinda deal. It’s more of a, “Yaar, I have a massive script narration today, and I r-e-a-a-l-l-y WANT TO make this movie, I’ve worked hard on it and it has come together quite well, so just watch my back, ok?” There are days when I can see Him a bit troubled [don’t judge me, but I can!], so I’d go, “What’s up bro? [It could also be ‘Hey Bhagwan’ – yeah he also shares my crappy sense of humor] You looking a bit hassled today, kya hua? So listen you’ve probably got shitloads going on, so don’t worry about me today, I got this. And if there’s anything I can do, shout out!” It’s exactly the way I would and do behave with my team. After all, we ARE on the same team. And even if he probably doesn’t need me or us to do anything for him, he’s got it more than covered, at times just by doing our part – even if it’s for ourselves, we do help. Cause its part of his JD anyway to watch out for us. 

Sai Baba mandir at my school in Tardeo

We used to go to Shirdi every year as a ritual up until mom was around. Somewhere over the years I’ve stopped. Personally I hate going there now. It has become wayyy too commercialized, and pilgrimages have become a business. It does NOT give me peace, or happiness. I also personally hate doing the whole Siddhi Vinayak/ Haji Ali Dargah/ etc. rounds altogether. My wife really likes it; it gives her peace. Great. Me? I abhor it. The whole standing in line, the getting hustled to hurry up, the people trying to sell you shit. Does that make me an atheist or less religious? No. I do go to a temple every day. A make-shift one with a small Sai Baba & Ganesh idol under a tree. It’s one of those encroached upon spaces that grow and become a shrine that then no one has the balls to break because, well, India. I used to have a similar one close to my school while growing up and by virtue of passing it every day it was one place that gave me peace. So even today, after we’ve moved, that’s one place I like to go back to when there’s something hectic happening. My son Rishaan’s med reports/ his annual day celebrations/ a film release/ whatever. We also have a temple at home. A small Sai Baba idol among other things that include a Ganpati, one of my Maratha kuldevi ka pictures [I have no idea what that is and refused to go to the hometown to pray/ fetch that], Shani bhagwan photo [apparently I have a bad Shani, but I wonder why I still love singing ‘Saturday Saturday’], some other devi, a Shiv ling, a nandi and other things. I do not like to pray to that. I do not insist that Rishaan pray to that either. He knows a bunch of chants, Gayatri mantra, Navkar mantra, etc. that my aunt and my wife Shital have taught him, but the most powerful prayer he recites simply goes, “Love you Sai Baba, thank you Sai Baba, please take care of me!” It’s simple, it’s honest, it’s one HE understands. Also He understands I’d think. Koi agarbatti, diya, chant not required.

Rishaan Patil & Happy Patil

To each their own but enforcing religion is something I find absurd. In fact, trying to enforce anything is kinda stupid. As a parent, boss, partner or friend. Hopefully you can show the power of belief and faith in something larger, positivity, good deeds that will/ may yield results but to force that down anyone’s throats just defeats the purpose. It’s not from within. It’s done because you’ve been told, not because you felt it. The same goes for celebrations and rituals, please don’t do stuff that is at the expense of other’s convenience or peace. I absolutely HATE loudspeakers, crackers, loud noises, music, drunk assholes on streets, dance parades on the roads, wastage of water, messing up traffic and more that we carry out under the name of religion in our country. And that’s not me being anti-secular or communal. Whether you are a Hindu/ Muslim/ Catholic/ Parsi… no God ever asked for a dance to ‘Sheila ki Jawaani’ or ‘the Venga Bus is coming’. I have a son who’s extremely noise sensitive so all these festivals with that music, crackers really harrow him. He has to sleep with noise cancellation headphones. It triggers so much anxiety that it’s crazy. It messes up his sleep, his school and more. And of course, there are morons who continue way past the 10pm deadline and start at 5am! I have a pet – a lovely lab named Happy Patil – he is so UN-Happy during these times, it’s ridiculous. Anyone with pets – dogs, cats or otherwise will probably identify, understand that too.

Sonu & the 6-Pack Band

Coming to Sonu’s posts, enough has been said, shared, etc. I have had a limited but a fantastic interaction with him. It takes balls of steel to step up and say anything in our country even remotely ‘against so called religious practices’. They’ve put out a fatwa, a 10 lakh bounty and a challenge for a garland of shoes/ shaving his head against him?! Good Lord. Really?! He’s one guy who walks the talk. While others express their secularity/ nationalism/ support through social media activism. Changing your DP with a tricolor or rainbow filter doesn’t do jack bro! He stepped up to not just lend his name and voice to a song with India’s 1^st Transgender Band, the hugely celebrated 6-Pack Band, but really supported it in spirit, pushing for them, batting for them, when not a lot of people will. Ironically, the song was called ‘Sab Rab De Bande’ meaning ‘We are all children of the same God’. As to how he expressed what he felt, it’s tone, etc., man, really when there are people who express how they feel by beating up people with sandals on airlines/ issue fatwas/ send out death & rape threats/ blacken people’s faces/ destroy public property/ curse, abuse… we are getting our chaddis in a knot over a set of tweets.

Bhai ka order!

Let’s not miss the point. God doesn’t need your love or support – least of all for it to be expressed via Social media outrage/ a DP with a filter/ these actions. Be Kind, Rewind, Be Kind Again. And as Bhai says, Be Human. Utna kaafi hai. By God!

Ps: Also posted here is a video of my son dancing to temple bells just for fun :)

Rish dancing to temple bells