Generation Why?
I like kids. They come right on top of my ‘like’ list. Right after pneumonia, circumcision and Musharraf. (But right before malaria, castration and Bin Laden. I had the fortune of spending last weekend with my nephew.
His name’s Hriday. (Pronounced as ‘Reedai’ but spelt as Friday.) That’s another thing I can’t figure. Why spell names unlike the way they’re pronounced? But that’s another column. Hriday is 3. Which means he’s in that phase when kids have just learnt how to speak, but not completely. Basically, they’ve graduated from goo goo, ga ga to who who, why why?
Anything you say will be promptly repeated back to you. But with the word “why?’ thrown right back in. Here’s a sample conversation we had while I was watching, correction, trying to watch television…
Hriday: Ashish uncle, why are you watching TV?
Me: Because there’s a Baywatch rerun on.
Hriday: Why are you watching a Baywatch rerun?
Me: Because there’s Pamela Anderson in it.
Hriday: Why is Pamela Anderson in it?
Me: Because she’s a very talented actress and Baywatch is a series that can show, uh, showcase all her talents.
Hriday: Why is Baywatch is a series that can showcase all her talents?
Me: Because it offers an opportunity for a range of emotions to be portrayed in a range of situations week after a week.
For instance: Person who can’t swim trapped in boat with hole… Pam looks worried
Person who can’t swim trapped in hole with boat… Pam looks concerned.
Person who can swim trapped in boat with hole… Pam looks troubled.
Person who can swim trapped in hole with boat… Pam looks anxious.
Person who can’t swim trapped in rubber dinghy with hole… Pam looks apprehensive.
Person who can’t swim trapped in hole with rubber dinghy… Pam looks disturbed.
You get the idea. I’m really looking forward to episode 312. This is the 2-hour season finale and has a person who can’t swim trapped in a hole with a surfboard. I believe, Pam has to look vexed (not waxed) in this one.
Anyway, even after sharing several challenging story lines and Pam’s performance with Hriday, his response was… “But why are you watching TV?”
I switched off the TV.
Hriday: Ashish uncle, why did you switch off the TV?
I have a 3-year-old type question. WHY do 3 year olds do this? Is it their tremendous thirst for knowledge? Is it that they’re still figuring out the alphabet and the only letter they have learnt so far is ‘Y’? Or is it their undying love for the Backstreet Boys? (If about five 3 year olds get together they even sing, “tell me why” complete with profile shots, abdominal biscuits showing and all to you.)
I have spent countless seconds trying to understand why 3 year olds do this. I have even discussed it with Hriday over milk. And I think I have figured it out. It’s none of the above reasons. They are doing this simply because they like being irritating pains in the ass.
Female 3 year olds do this better than the male species. It’s a genetic thing. I mean the questions. And the 3-year-olds who do it better than the others go on to become your bosses. Moronic questions that are useless are a critical qualification essential for corporate success.
Now if any of you didn’t understand / agree with / like this piece, do me a favour… DON’T tell me why.
I like kids. They come right on top of my ‘like’ list. Right after pneumonia, circumcision and Musharraf. (But right before malaria, castration and Bin Laden. I had the fortune of spending last weekend with my nephew.
His name’s Hriday. (Pronounced as ‘Reedai’ but spelt as Friday.) That’s another thing I can’t figure. Why spell names unlike the way they’re pronounced? But that’s another column. Hriday is 3. Which means he’s in that phase when kids have just learnt how to speak, but not completely. Basically, they’ve graduated from goo goo, ga ga to who who, why why?
Anything you say will be promptly repeated back to you. But with the word “why?’ thrown right back in. Here’s a sample conversation we had while I was watching, correction, trying to watch television…
Hriday: Ashish uncle, why are you watching TV?
Me: Because there’s a Baywatch rerun on.
Hriday: Why are you watching a Baywatch rerun?
Me: Because there’s Pamela Anderson in it.
Hriday: Why is Pamela Anderson in it?
Me: Because she’s a very talented actress and Baywatch is a series that can show, uh, showcase all her talents.
Hriday: Why is Baywatch is a series that can showcase all her talents?
Me: Because it offers an opportunity for a range of emotions to be portrayed in a range of situations week after a week.
For instance: Person who can’t swim trapped in boat with hole… Pam looks worried
Person who can’t swim trapped in hole with boat… Pam looks concerned.
Person who can swim trapped in boat with hole… Pam looks troubled.
Person who can swim trapped in hole with boat… Pam looks anxious.
Person who can’t swim trapped in rubber dinghy with hole… Pam looks apprehensive.
Person who can’t swim trapped in hole with rubber dinghy… Pam looks disturbed.
You get the idea. I’m really looking forward to episode 312. This is the 2-hour season finale and has a person who can’t swim trapped in a hole with a surfboard. I believe, Pam has to look vexed (not waxed) in this one.
Anyway, even after sharing several challenging story lines and Pam’s performance with Hriday, his response was… “But why are you watching TV?”
I switched off the TV.
Hriday: Ashish uncle, why did you switch off the TV?
I have a 3-year-old type question. WHY do 3 year olds do this? Is it their tremendous thirst for knowledge? Is it that they’re still figuring out the alphabet and the only letter they have learnt so far is ‘Y’? Or is it their undying love for the Backstreet Boys? (If about five 3 year olds get together they even sing, “tell me why” complete with profile shots, abdominal biscuits showing and all to you.)
I have spent countless seconds trying to understand why 3 year olds do this. I have even discussed it with Hriday over milk. And I think I have figured it out. It’s none of the above reasons. They are doing this simply because they like being irritating pains in the ass.
Female 3 year olds do this better than the male species. It’s a genetic thing. I mean the questions. And the 3-year-olds who do it better than the others go on to become your bosses. Moronic questions that are useless are a critical qualification essential for corporate success.
Now if any of you didn’t understand / agree with / like this piece, do me a favour… DON’T tell me why.
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