Old article I'd written a long time back for a paper...
--------------------------------------------------------------
What makes MTV, MTV?
I don’t know.
Really! Even if I ‘kind of’ do, I’m not sure if I can explain it to you. Not in a half page article anyway.
What I do know is that a Company is the sum of its entire people. Who they are, what they do, what they wear, how they think, how they act (think and act not necessarily in the same order), how they interact with each other and more.
The best way to understand what makes MTV tick is to find out (at least try to) what makes its people tick. Who are these wackos and why we hire them?
Sneak in as I put a “Bakra-Cam” (hidden camera) on a typical MTV interview. Attached is an expletives <bleep> deleted version, read on…
Interview #1
Alex : So why do you want to join MTV?
Candidate #1 : Sir, I want to value add to this quality driven organisation, for I am a result-oriented man not afraid of revisiting his knowledge base. I want to be the best, so I want to work with the best…
Alex : NEXT!
Interview #2
Alex : Tell me something about yourself.
Candidate #2 : I was a topper at Doon School, did my graduation from St. Stephen’s and went to Harvard for an MBA. Did my organizational training with Ernst & Young and worked for a year with Viacom in the States…
Alex : That sounds pretty impressive. Tell me, what is the craziest thing that you have done in your life?
Candidate #2 : I once wore a Mickey Mouse tie to work!
Alex NEXT!
Interview #3
Alex : So what have you done in your life so far?
Candidate #3 : I am from Patna and I did my schooling there. Studied Painting at the Faculty of Fine Arts in Baroda...
Alex : And you are here for a job in the Marketing department?
Candidate #3 : Why not? Can’t painters market themselves? Look at Hussain.
Alex : Hmm, I have a few of Hussain’s at home… yes, go on!
Candidate #3 : After graduation, I worked as a copywriter with a small ad agency. Got bored. Left. Now, I work in Servicing at Ambience.
Alex : What is your job profile?
Candidate #3 : I do everything a Client Servicing guy does.
Alex : Like what?
Candidate #3 : Run after everybody, fax documents, dispatch couriers…
Alex : Is that all you do?
Candidate #3 : No, I paste artworks as well.
Alex : And?
Candidate #3 : I make money for the agency.
Alex : And?
Candidate #3 : And I lie to my clients.
Alex : Does your Bihari background have anything to do with that?
Candidate #3 : No, in that case, I would have killed them by now. I used to have a pistol once upon a time…
Alex : Uh, umm… So, do you watch MTV?
Candidate #3 : No.
Alex : NO?
Candidate #3 : Actually, lately I have started watching the channel.
Alex : And why?
Candidate #3 : Well, earlier, the channel would just play the kind of music that plays at a disc. Now there’s a whole lot of music that is a part of my surroundings.
Alex : What do you like about the channel?
Candidate #3 : Govinda, Cyrus Broacha, Grind and Malaika, in opposite order.
Alex : Any shows that you like?
Candidate #3 : Name some. I don’t remember any.
Alex : (Humph!) Bakra, Fully Faltoo… there are so many!
Candidate #3 : Oh yeah, I like Fully Faltoo. Why, everybody at my agency loves the show. Just the other day our VP was talking about it when we went clubbing.
Alex : You like clubbing?
Candidate #3 : Off and on. More off than on! I am not completely a music person, you know.
Alex : And you still want to join a music channel?
Candidate #3 : Why not, I am not completely an advertising person either. And my brand still won the EFFY this year at the ABBYs.
Alex : And what was your contribution to that?
Candidate #3 : I hit a Copywriter to convince him that I was right. It worked!
Alex : I am glad you no longer keep that pistol with you. Tell me why should we hire you?
Candidate #3 : (<clunk> Pulls out the pistol and puts it on the table)
Well, I think in Hindi and react in English. And MTV needs people who could connect with the youth, in their language.
Alex : Just because you’ve come for this interview wearing a trendy half-sleeve shirt, you think you speak their language, is it?
Candidate #3 : You are wearing a similar shirt, aren’t you?
Alex : That’s besides the point. Plus, I am the <bleep> CEO of the channel.
Candidate #3 : I saw some of your marketing guys in kurtas!
Alex : Okay, so you get some brownies for observation.
Candidate #3 : Is that what they were distributing outside when I came in?
Alex : No, that was the cake on our peon Mishra’s birthday. Anyway, what more can you bring to the table?
Candidate #3 : I can make the channel look good.
Alex : You are talking to the head of this channel. You’re telling ME that we look bad?
Candidate #3 : Yes.
Alex : Dude, you have a totally confused background, zero marketing experience, NO idea of the channel, you’re downright opinionated, have dangerously violent tendencies and are COMPLETELY INSANE!!!
Candidate #3 : So?
Alex : So… from when can you join us?
Well, I don’t know what you guys make of these interviews; my reading is…
• We don’t tolerate corporate talk or bull <bleep>
• We don’t give a <bleep> about structures, egos, hierarchy, constraints, rules… or anything for that matter.
• No matter how you describe the youth – unpredictable, moody, disloyal, choosy, fickle, difficult, insane – we reflect, understand and affect them. In most ways, we are the youth.
• We don’t encourage crazy, outrageous, impossible ideas… we DEMAND them! That’s the only way we pull off a World’s Longest Dance Party, a Pre-approved Viagra Application as a New Year card in the same breath as a Global Discussion with Colin Powell, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates.
• We’re Indian… we’re international… we’re a little of both. We’re lassi in a can!
• We believe in doing the right thing, not for ratings or revenue… but because it’s the right thing to do (Btw, were you in the 25,000+ audience at our Music Summit for AIDS awareness in December?)
• We laugh at ourselves all the time, we laugh at others a lot too… and the youth laugh with us every time.
• This also helps us laugh all the way to the bank (one of our eyes always remains on the bottom line!) Yeah, being profitable is what allows us to create all the exciting and risky ideas on our agenda.
• We are ALL completely insane.
• And we love our jobs!
Enjoy!</bleep></bleep></bleep></clunk></bleep>
--------------------------------------------------------------
What makes MTV, MTV?
I don’t know.
Really! Even if I ‘kind of’ do, I’m not sure if I can explain it to you. Not in a half page article anyway.
What I do know is that a Company is the sum of its entire people. Who they are, what they do, what they wear, how they think, how they act (think and act not necessarily in the same order), how they interact with each other and more.
The best way to understand what makes MTV tick is to find out (at least try to) what makes its people tick. Who are these wackos and why we hire them?
Sneak in as I put a “Bakra-Cam” (hidden camera) on a typical MTV interview. Attached is an expletives <bleep> deleted version, read on…
Interview #1
Alex : So why do you want to join MTV?
Candidate #1 : Sir, I want to value add to this quality driven organisation, for I am a result-oriented man not afraid of revisiting his knowledge base. I want to be the best, so I want to work with the best…
Alex : NEXT!
Interview #2
Alex : Tell me something about yourself.
Candidate #2 : I was a topper at Doon School, did my graduation from St. Stephen’s and went to Harvard for an MBA. Did my organizational training with Ernst & Young and worked for a year with Viacom in the States…
Alex : That sounds pretty impressive. Tell me, what is the craziest thing that you have done in your life?
Candidate #2 : I once wore a Mickey Mouse tie to work!
Alex NEXT!
Interview #3
Alex : So what have you done in your life so far?
Candidate #3 : I am from Patna and I did my schooling there. Studied Painting at the Faculty of Fine Arts in Baroda...
Alex : And you are here for a job in the Marketing department?
Candidate #3 : Why not? Can’t painters market themselves? Look at Hussain.
Alex : Hmm, I have a few of Hussain’s at home… yes, go on!
Candidate #3 : After graduation, I worked as a copywriter with a small ad agency. Got bored. Left. Now, I work in Servicing at Ambience.
Alex : What is your job profile?
Candidate #3 : I do everything a Client Servicing guy does.
Alex : Like what?
Candidate #3 : Run after everybody, fax documents, dispatch couriers…
Alex : Is that all you do?
Candidate #3 : No, I paste artworks as well.
Alex : And?
Candidate #3 : I make money for the agency.
Alex : And?
Candidate #3 : And I lie to my clients.
Alex : Does your Bihari background have anything to do with that?
Candidate #3 : No, in that case, I would have killed them by now. I used to have a pistol once upon a time…
Alex : Uh, umm… So, do you watch MTV?
Candidate #3 : No.
Alex : NO?
Candidate #3 : Actually, lately I have started watching the channel.
Alex : And why?
Candidate #3 : Well, earlier, the channel would just play the kind of music that plays at a disc. Now there’s a whole lot of music that is a part of my surroundings.
Alex : What do you like about the channel?
Candidate #3 : Govinda, Cyrus Broacha, Grind and Malaika, in opposite order.
Alex : Any shows that you like?
Candidate #3 : Name some. I don’t remember any.
Alex : (Humph!) Bakra, Fully Faltoo… there are so many!
Candidate #3 : Oh yeah, I like Fully Faltoo. Why, everybody at my agency loves the show. Just the other day our VP was talking about it when we went clubbing.
Alex : You like clubbing?
Candidate #3 : Off and on. More off than on! I am not completely a music person, you know.
Alex : And you still want to join a music channel?
Candidate #3 : Why not, I am not completely an advertising person either. And my brand still won the EFFY this year at the ABBYs.
Alex : And what was your contribution to that?
Candidate #3 : I hit a Copywriter to convince him that I was right. It worked!
Alex : I am glad you no longer keep that pistol with you. Tell me why should we hire you?
Candidate #3 : (<clunk> Pulls out the pistol and puts it on the table)
Well, I think in Hindi and react in English. And MTV needs people who could connect with the youth, in their language.
Alex : Just because you’ve come for this interview wearing a trendy half-sleeve shirt, you think you speak their language, is it?
Candidate #3 : You are wearing a similar shirt, aren’t you?
Alex : That’s besides the point. Plus, I am the <bleep> CEO of the channel.
Candidate #3 : I saw some of your marketing guys in kurtas!
Alex : Okay, so you get some brownies for observation.
Candidate #3 : Is that what they were distributing outside when I came in?
Alex : No, that was the cake on our peon Mishra’s birthday. Anyway, what more can you bring to the table?
Candidate #3 : I can make the channel look good.
Alex : You are talking to the head of this channel. You’re telling ME that we look bad?
Candidate #3 : Yes.
Alex : Dude, you have a totally confused background, zero marketing experience, NO idea of the channel, you’re downright opinionated, have dangerously violent tendencies and are COMPLETELY INSANE!!!
Candidate #3 : So?
Alex : So… from when can you join us?
Well, I don’t know what you guys make of these interviews; my reading is…
• We don’t tolerate corporate talk or bull <bleep>
• We don’t give a <bleep> about structures, egos, hierarchy, constraints, rules… or anything for that matter.
• No matter how you describe the youth – unpredictable, moody, disloyal, choosy, fickle, difficult, insane – we reflect, understand and affect them. In most ways, we are the youth.
• We don’t encourage crazy, outrageous, impossible ideas… we DEMAND them! That’s the only way we pull off a World’s Longest Dance Party, a Pre-approved Viagra Application as a New Year card in the same breath as a Global Discussion with Colin Powell, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates.
• We’re Indian… we’re international… we’re a little of both. We’re lassi in a can!
• We believe in doing the right thing, not for ratings or revenue… but because it’s the right thing to do (Btw, were you in the 25,000+ audience at our Music Summit for AIDS awareness in December?)
• We laugh at ourselves all the time, we laugh at others a lot too… and the youth laugh with us every time.
• This also helps us laugh all the way to the bank (one of our eyes always remains on the bottom line!) Yeah, being profitable is what allows us to create all the exciting and risky ideas on our agenda.
• We are ALL completely insane.
• And we love our jobs!
Enjoy!</bleep></bleep></bleep></clunk></bleep>
No comments:
Post a Comment